One Week to Go

It seems like we came to this point so quickly, but also that we still have a long way to go. Everything is starting to feel much too real and it's time to really get ourselves ready. I have started lots of lists - for Isaac at the hospital, for me at the hospital, who is taking care of the kids at home and when, meals for next week, shopping lists, and questions to ask before we go in. I have a class tomorrow at Primary Children's for parents of children having surgery. I think it will be good to know more about what to expect while we are there.

I feel a lot of things I haven't felt to this degree or in this way before. This is a new kind of fear. Isaac is so precious to our family and it is so hard to know that he will have pain and scars and recovery to deal with. I'm grateful that Alan and I carry the fear and anxiety of going into surgery instead of him. I'm grateful that we will also be the ones dealing with the shocked looks he will receive as well. I know he is strong and resilient and that he will fight his way back to normal. I look forward to his first smile when it is over.

I have more fears than I can list, but I'm doing my best to keep them all in check and be strong for our little family. This surgery is affecting each of us and I need to be sure to be sensitive to that and not add to the fears of my husband and children.

I want Isaac to be able to look back at this journey and feel proud of his family and feel our love for him, and mostly to be proud of himself and know he is so strong and so capable of handling whatever life may bring him. He is a gift.